A Writer

I have always written
in journals
scraps of paper
a receipt that I fished out of a bin
matchbooks that were picked up at a bar
I wrote
through emotion
and about my dreams
until i started living them.

I decided to teach writing
as scared as I was to teach
I was even more afraid to teach writing.
There was content
grammar I didn't fully understand, but
somehow knew to break the rules
there was a process to teach
that I didn't subscribe to
but I had to get my kids
to buy the plan.

I was given kids
who lazily drew their pages
together like
a hornets nest of ideas
and gave me what they thought was gold.
and it was up to me to make them pass a test.

I was told to attend this group
it would help my process
it would bring back my writing
it would fuel my energy
and give my craft the boost it needs to move the needle on these kids.

I approach next year with desire
to teach
to learn with my kids
to write beside them
to let them see me stumble
and over-correct my gait
like someone who wants the world to be looking the other way.
but I know better. They will all see the
:FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT:
scam that I am
but that will make it ok for them
to take a chance
in my class
and become
REAL WRITERS
because isn't that our goal?

Author's Note: 

I wrote this from my perspective to show how much I have learned and how far I have come in the last three weeks. I  am so amazed to have had the opportunity to learn and write with such talented and dedicated educators. Each of us had strengths to contribute and were able to help each other in ways I have not seen in my short tenure as a teacher. I am so excited to approach my new year with an arsenal of strategies and structure to really reinforce writing in my class. And though I may begin simply with notebooks and blogging, I know I will be able to add the elements of a writer's workshop to my classroom in no time.

Thank you, North Star Summer Invitational, for allowing me to hone my craft.